Still here? Somebody's paying too much!
3/6/2009 12:48:38 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (0)


This is still here!!!!!!!???????? Nice...
11/20/2008 4:04:04 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (0)

Nothin' reallyChat

5/9/2006 11:31:27 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


Started this quarter at $8500.00. That's about $2000 up on everyone.
4/8/2006 10:21:41 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)


Gained a little. Up by $22,402 today!
3/29/2006 11:29:07 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)


Up $22,042 now. Very nice!
3/22/2006 9:15:30 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (8)


3/21/2006 2:14:08 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


Back in the game. I increased my lead this fiscal quarter to $20,094.
3/15/2006 10:11:23 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)


Slipped a little. Still number one at center. Only by $17,567 though.
3/8/2006 8:21:38 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)


I'm the number 5 banker in the nation!
3/2/2006 3:16:10 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


I don't have an headache.
3/1/2006 10:14:29 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (6)


Today, I am $20,103 ahead of everyone in South Dakota in profit numbers. Nice!
3/1/2006 7:43:08 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)

Movin' On...News

Had coffee - better now.
2/28/2006 5:15:17 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)


I have an headache.
2/28/2006 11:54:52 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)


We had an accident once. Kristine had an issue with the airbag. She actually popped it with her nose. So, now, we have to drive around with her wearing a rubber clown ball on her smeller. She looks pretty funny when she forgets to take it off and goes into a store. The looks! Oh well.... Anything for safety. Have you ever seen a chiropractor activate a broken nose back into position? Nice!
2/24/2006 4:50:57 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


Today, I am $18,549 ahead of everyone in South Dakota in profit numbers. Nice!
2/22/2006 8:26:20 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (9)


Our Pastor came over last night to discuss membership. He came at 8pm with the youth Pastor, Mark, and left at around 11pm. We had an awesome time of fellowship and stories. I would trust my children's lives to our youth Pastor.
2/21/2006 9:25:37 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (7)

My trip to the grocery storeIdiocy

Ever since I was a kid, my favorite pasttime was grocery shopping. Especially when we went to Cub and filled up two carts, taking four hours to shop for two weeks worth. My favorite was the bags of cheese puffs that had the accidental chunks of cheese in them. Then there was the double bag of unsliced cracked wheat bread that you could only get at Rainbow Foods' McGlynn's bakery (which was founded in 1919, the same year that Smuckers Jelly Co. was). Mm...mm!!!!

Anyway...we went to Sioux Falls today to do some errands and ended up in HyVee, shopping for the next two weeks worth. As we were walking down the aisles, Kristine had a cart with the two girls and I had Frederic in mine. I was about ten feet back from Kris and saw an item that we needed about ten feet in front of her. So, I left Frederic and went to get it. He started to cry and I turned back just in time to see a young HyVee employee walk past my cart and look at my buddy boy. He then walked past me (keep in mind, by this time, I am about 20 feet from Fred and Kris is about 15) and I looked at the employee and with a serious face, said, "Do you have any idea whom that kid belongs to?" He looked shocked and started back for Frederic, saying that he thought Fred was mine. I confessed and we all had a good laugh.

Then, I took Naya into the men's bathroom to go potty. She walked into the stall and immediately recoiled because of the filthy toilet. At about that time, a young HyVee employee walked into the next stall. I said to Renaya, "That's what you get when you go potty in the men's room!" Out of the employee's stall came a guffaw that made Renaya jump off the bacterial seat of the brownish potty and wonder who that was. The kid next to us in the other stall caught himself somewhat gracefully and said, "Sorry...but that was real funny." Then, he made sure to finish and high-tail it outta there before we caught a glimpse of him again.

Next time, I think I'll terrorize the Wal-Mart.
2/14/2006 9:21:25 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (13)


Funny.... About two months into the last fiscal quarter, I emailed my boss and asked her why I was not in the running for President's Club - the most prestigious honor per quarter. She never answered my email. I had been successfully snubbed.

Then, today, I looked up from my desk and saw all the managers around me. They handed me balloons and invited me to lunch. I made President's Club for last quarter! Life is good. I'm on a serious pace to make it this quarter, as well.

I press on toward the goal... (and believe me, if you only knew...)
2/9/2006 11:32:31 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


Today, I am $12,340 ahead of everyone in South Dakota in profit numbers. Nice!
2/9/2006 8:49:28 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (7)


Please pray for me and my family. We are going to be giving to a family from what we need and do not have. They are very needy and we believe that it is the right thing to do. God says we will be blessed. I am a straightforward, logical kind of guy and hate to let go of something that I cannot see a return on. Thus, I need your prayers to help me learn to trust God while being in complete obedience to him.
2/4/2006 3:23:32 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


I press on toward the goal...
2/2/2006 5:23:22 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (12)

My turnIdiocy

On the other hand, look what marriage does to you. Kristine and I looked as pretty and hunkish as you two did when we were your age. Now, with all the hard work and three squirts later, we have, well...matured.
1/30/2006 10:44:20 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (8)

At workNews

Last fiscal quarter, I was 14th out of 50 bankers in this Wells Fargo center. That was after having started with only 2/3 of the quarter left. I made incentive, unlike some of the older bankers. This fiscal quarter ends in about a week and I am sitting at #2. The number one banker is on vacation until the 28th, (I took my vacation at the beginning of the quarter, effectively giving us the same time off) giving me the opportunity to overtake her and claim the number one spot!
12/24/2005 1:34:29 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (7)


I was headed for a C in Microeconomics and crammed for my final. I aced it and got a B!!!!!!!!! I'm pumped!
12/22/2005 10:28:07 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (10)

Fall PicFall Picture Contest

Hey Ted...When are you going to get that website up? Here's a new entry.
11/4/2005 5:01:33 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


So far, seven essays of mine have received the highest marks in English 101. My prof loves me and I am getting short of apples. Any other ideas on how to coerce an A? Here is my latest writing...It is about my professor's critique of my last major essay.

Rush, Rush
I hear a sound in the night. It is the sound of my alarm – piercing through my bedroom air, telling me it is time to get up. I roll over to shut it off, thinking in my half asleep, half awake mind, that something is wrong. The alarm is malfunctioning and is definitely not supposed to go off at this hour. As the clouds clear from my brain, I kick myself and realize that life does move at a quick pace. It IS five in the morning.
So . . . I get out of bed, prepare breakfast, shower, shave, eat breakfast, make lunch, kiss my kids, smooch my wife, and run out the door. The cold blast of the Minnesota winter hits me in the face, causing me to run all that more quickly. I jump in my 1987 Honda Accord that is slowly recycling itself around the gas door. I stuff the key in the ignition and hear five clicks. I turn it again – same sound. As I begin to hear my hear race a bit faster, I peer over the steering wheel and see my flip lights up. That can only mean one thing. I left my lights on the previous night!
I jump out of the car and grab the jumper cables from my wife’s minivan. This always starts because she gets the nicer car. I run toward the door to grab the keys and somehow my feet leave the ground. I see my toes against the morning moon and then feel the cold ice hit the back of my head as I slam toward the ground. Quickly, I jump to my feet, frantically looking around to see if anyone had seen the acrobatics while at the same time, trying to act as if I had done that on purpose. I see the yellow eyes of the neighborhood cat peering at me with what I think is a curious gaze but then as he slinks away, he gives me a snort, as if to show his disgust.
Watching the cat’s breath float away on the bitter north wind snaps my mind back to attention. Into the house I go. I grab the keys, start the van, rush it down the drive, pop both hoods, connect the cables, start my car, slip on the ice, disconnect the cables, slip on the ice, throw the cables back into the van, back the van up, run to the house, slip on the ice, toss the keys on the floor and then turn around to head back to my car.
As long as my head is hurting and I am wide awake, I decide to slide down the icy driveway with gusto. Having this much fun in the morning is better than a hot cup of latte, which I can’t afford anyway.
Then, I drive the forty-five minutes to work, toil for ten hours at a job I love, drive home and wash the dishes, change a few diapers, and kiss my wife. As I am kissing my wife, I notice a few hairs that are out of place. I reach up to fix them and notice the clock on the wall. It is half-past-ten. And I am expected to write a perfect paper?
All jokes aside, I was very dissatisfied with my final draft. I went on vacation during the essay drafting process and had the opportunity to go over everything with my wife. Using some of her ideas, I hashed out a better draft than I had originally prepared. But, as I returned, it seemed as if everything was bit rushed.
That wasn’t the only problem. I received instruction in technical English composition in tenth grade. I did get an A+, but can’t remember any of the rules. I remember big words, like gerunds and participles but can’t tell you what they mean. I have ideas of where commas are supposed to go but can’t explain why. The remedial quizzes force me to use a thesaurus so as to understand them more fully.
To conclude, I will say that the feedback on this essay is opening my eyes to the reality that there actually is a science to sentence structure. Now I only hope that I can fit the learning process into my twenty-one hour schedule.

10/28/2005 8:14:37 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)


Hey sweets. Forgot to leave a love note this morn. I thought about it. Love you...
10/22/2005 8:34:09 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)

At workChat

I have a midterm today which I have not really studied that hard for. I have decided on my priorities and not studying too hard for simple tests is one of them. One of my customers works at Dunn Bros coffee and makes me want to walk in and smell the awesome flavors.

I'm at work.
10/18/2005 12:25:01 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (7)

HerSmoochie woochie

I love my wife.
10/15/2005 9:15:56 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (8)

Fall PicFall Picture Contest

This picture has my vote for #1. Remember, you can insert multiple pictures for the contest. As each picture is submitted, we will all vote to see which is the best, i.e, the best of all the pictures previously entered including your current entry.

This submission was from Kristine M. Sands.

I, Joseph N. Sands vote this as first place over Rubs pic.

Much obliged.
9/26/2005 11:59:21 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)

My lifeNews

Life is pretty good right now. If I get as much as 4 hours of sleep a night, I am sleeping in. My life is waking up, eating a quick breakfast, swerving to work amid nods of fatigue and then working for 5-10 hours a day. Then I either go to school for 3-6 hours or go home and study for 10 hours.

I'm taking 13 credits of which I know nothing about 4 of those. I am terribly paranoid that I will get a B in Chemistry and Chemistry lab. I wake up at night in a cold sweat and have the perpetual shakes and nervous tick of a homeless man in the streets of New Orleans' French Quarter.

I am getting no sleep. Four hours a night of that and no fine baseball team to watch! What a nightmare.

Oh! And then there is my family. I have a beautful wife and three rotten kids. Life at home is a proverbial sludge of chocolate between the lips of a very pompous and overweight opera singer whose soprano notes are a bit too high, melting the confection from a sludge to a soup with the texture of New Orleans' flood waters. I love it. (Notice I took the liberty of starting an analogy and then staying in that analogy without really making it an analogy. This is proof of a fine writer!.....or an anarchist)

Catch what's on my mind?
9/11/2005 3:32:17 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)

MonitorsDesperate Need

If anyone needs a good used computer monitor, I now have a source where I can get them for $25.00. Just call me and I'll get it to you plus shipping costs in a week.
9/5/2005 10:00:47 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)


Please pray for us. As gas prices go up, we will have to tighten our belts. A lot.
9/1/2005 11:16:29 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)


Kristine turns the air down too much!
8/25/2005 9:38:58 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

At the FairBabies

No license? No problem!
8/25/2005 9:32:16 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

In a DazeBabies

What a guy!
8/24/2005 5:30:08 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (5)

Divorce, RemarriageChat

Ok. Reconcile Matthew 19:5. That is the only verse in the Bible where Jesus says to divorce for a specific reason. Also, 1 Cor 7 tells women not to remarry but not men. Please explain.

PS: Only use Scripture. Not other man's words or opinions. Thank you.
7/25/2005 4:36:50 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (17)

Need MonitorDesperate Need

Hey anyone.... Can you hook me up w/ a computer monitor? Mine seems to be ready to hit the fan.
7/6/2005 6:37:36 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (5)

Rayovac RabbitNews

Still going. I'm figuring out all my college stuff still. A few key courses xfrd from MCTC! I'm happy about that. I was able to schedule a course online.

Thank you to my dear mother for the books gift. Itwill be much appreciated.
6/10/2005 9:37:59 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)

Need BooksSchool

Hello all. I am in desperate need of someone to pick up the cost of my books. Get back to me either way.

6/1/2005 9:21:22 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (5)

On and onNews

Well. It's been a week now. A week of learning and confirming. I am really happy at my job right now and am looking forward to a great career with Wells Fargo while I am in school.

Oh! I forgot to mention. I am now accepted into the University of South Dakota. I will be scheduling my classes on Tuesday, May 31. I'll put myself on track to gain two Bachelor's Degrees in Business and Accounting.

My FAFSA went through and my EFC is 0000. This means that I am eligible for $4050 in Federal Pell Grants. (Thank the Lord for children) Also, I can access $2265 in Federally Interest Subsidized loans for the remainder. There won't be much of a remainder for the year, though.

Wells Fargo is also picking up the difference. They will pay up to $5000 in education reimbursements for all my classes except books. This means that I have $9050 in possible aid for school this year. Awesome!

I found out today that I am a rare case here at Wells Fargo. They rarely, if ever, do outside hiring for this type of position. Thus, my employment is a squeaker of a deal. It is more likely that a slipper lobster would acquire the little toe of a fisherman through steel toed Red Wing shoes than for me to have gotten this job.

Miracle? You tell me.

When I resigned my position at Schwan's, I dropped off a letter dated May 14, 2005. Then, I never received my final paycheck the next Friday. I was owed nearly $450. So, I contacted the HR Dept at Schwan's and discovered that Jeff had faxed over a form that showed my end date as May 6. So, I made a little speech over the phone and am now getting the paycheck.

But. Jeff Knutson made a mistake. Little does he know that what he did was falsifying records; a misdemeanor in Minnesota. A small slap on the wrist for him. I will be taking this case (with both documents) to the DA and will request they file charges.

But, it does not stop there. Jeffery promised me a $5000 sign on bonus when I was hired. I was paid $1900 of that. Thus, he needed to have paid that to me by the last paycheck. Having not paid, he is guilty of a Gross Misdemeanor. Now that is NOT a small slap on the wrist. So, for the next few weeks, I will be gathering documents and records for a case against Jeff and Schwan's, both criminal and civil.

I'm having fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/25/2005 11:51:38 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

First DayNews

My first day was terrible!!!!!!! Here I am, an ex-Schwan's man who walks at least eight miles a day and then I have to SIT for eight hours a day!

5/19/2005 9:25:55 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

Too lateIdiocy

It's late here. About midnight of the 18th. I start work tomorrow (19th) at 8am. I am so excited. Can't sleep. It's storming outside. Lots of thunder and lightning. The rain is beating on the windows like prisoners in a starvation cell. It beats memories into my head as each drop make a sound of a pin against a freshly varnished wood floor. Memories of sitting on our front porch as a child, hoping, breathlessly that someday, we just might see a tornado. We never entertained the thought of what we might do if we actually saw one. So, being still alive and empty eyed, I have no more seen a tornado than a mouse eat a slice of cheese.

By the way... Check out Ted's videos at http://xtreme-enterprises.com/personal/ted/movies.html Wow! I wish I were he.
5/17/2005 11:59:36 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)

We've MovedNews

On Sunday, I drove the old bucket U-Haul truck over to Pipestone. That thing was a DOG!!!!! It took about eight miles for me to make it to 55mph. But then, I couldn't keep it below 65mph. In fact, several times I accidentally buried the needle (emphasis on accidentally).

Well...Our new phone number is (507) 562-0121. Kristine will be changing her cell number and I'll be canceling mine. That'll come later.

I start work on Thursday.
5/17/2005 10:12:41 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)


I understand now what a blessing a fatherhood role is. I was coming in for coffee one day on the job and my little gal, Renaya, bounded out of the house and shouted at me like I was the greatest hero on earth. Wow! What an awesome feeling to be loved completely by my daughter. I also went into the house and reaped a smile from ear to ear from Laura. The more I cherish my wife, the more she notices me too. That last one is a bit tough for me. She's so great, that I tend to take her for granted.

I'm festering. I'm going to quit on Saturday, May 14 and I don't want to work today. I can't handle the job, knowing that it's going to end. My feet plod one in front of the other making dead sounds on the white concrete earth, stained with the brown juice of so many country mouths, projecting their vile wads of tobacco earthward. I stare blankly through the pane of glass in the truck, covered by a thin, but irritating layer of smoke from all the years of chain smoking Schwan's men and never washed. I take orders, thank customers, and make the living that I need until the fateful day. And I thank God for the new life too!

Anyway...Thought I'd let you in on my most innerful thoughts. Whether they be innerful or most outer, I think they're valid and vindicatablative.
5/5/2005 5:00:20 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

I'm IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News

I got the job! At about 4pm on Monday, I got a call from Wells Fargo. They offered me the position. I will be a Personal Banker/Inbound Phone Sales dude. They told me that I was the first to be hired in this group. All three managers wanted to hire me so they hired me early to allow time to fight over me.

I will be in basic banking training until July, when everyone else is hired. I start May 19. This means we need to move on May 15th.

Bye! It's been a pleasure being close and middle class. Hopefully I'll remember y'all when my salary exceeds the President's and his whole cabinet.
4/27/2005 11:07:24 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

My InterviewNews

On Wed., April 13, I had an interview with Wells Fargo in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I think I impressed them.

I arrived with sweaty hands and coronary palpitations. They told me it would be a group interview with all three managers there. I had the two women rolling on the floor at times and the guy really empathized with me because he had a child Renaya's age.

I hope they understand that I have a serious side too. I do think I showed a good share of that as well.

Anyway, I'm waiting to hear back.
4/15/2005 12:55:38 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

More IdiocyIdiocy

So....A pontificate may pontificate his pontifications whether he be a pontiff or a pontificate, but never a pontificator for a pontiff or pontificate is the correct word for someone who pontificates said pontiff or pontificates pontifications.
4/9/2005 5:11:09 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (0)

New NewsNews

Try to say this. If a pontificating pontificator was a pontiff of pontiffs then his pontifications of pontifications would be pontifical in nature. So if a pontiff would punt if his foot would handle it, then the pontiff would punt if it were possible. What pontifications can a pontiff pontificate when a pontiff does not pontificate his pontifications to other pontiffs.


I scheduled an interview with Wells Fargo in Sioux Falls. The recruiter said that her husband is a serious Twins Fan. I figure therefore, that I'm a shoe in.

The job with the trenching outfit is still available if I ever need it but at this moment, it is a crutch that I need to throw off. If I do not attain a lucrative position in my field of study, I'll be working the wires and playing with death.

My girls are great and my boss loves me. Oh, my future hall of famer and his mom are as beautiful as can be.

It's funny how sales cover all sins. My boss hated my guts about 3 weeks ago. But, after hitting my first $2000 day and my third $6000+ week in as many weeks, he's thinkin' I'm his golden boy. It's going to hurt me and him when I resign.

Anyway....y'all have an awesome weekend. The twinkies need to size up the situation and shake off the .500 ballclub style of play. They need to release Kyle Lohse and get a real pitcher that can throw more than fastballs. I mean, El Duque never got out of the 80mph range and still held us to one run. All the loser has is a fastball. Once a hitter learns his typical locates, they just need to compensate. Thus, the reason why the loser loses his lunch in the 5th and 6th every game.

World Series BABY!!!!!!!!!
4/9/2005 11:38:15 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (8)

Rubs, Tubs, and UbsNews

Hey! What a party we all had when Ad, Ted and Ba Dub Dub came over. Big ears stayed a little longer than the mirrors but it was quite a time!

We stayed up until 4 am learning how to conquer the world. Hashed out some plans to tackle the World Court and evil UN. Also, we sent word to the Catholic Cardinals on which Pope to choose, on pain of losing their skull caps for loony tune head bruises.

It was fun.
4/3/2005 9:27:40 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)

Movin' BackNews

Hi all....

A lot of things have happened to me in the recent past. I am applying to the University of South Dakota for a BS degree in Business and another one in Accounting. Thus, it is imperative that we move back to Pippiestonie.

My old boss just contacted me several times and asked me to come back to work for him. I gave him a salary need and he accepted. In order for me to do that full time, though, I need to iron out some schedule wrinkles.

I also have a potential position with Wells Fargo in Sioux Falls. A lot of decisions need to be made in the next couple of weeks. Our possible move date is April 23. The Twins play the Tigers at Comerica Park on their path to the World Series that day.

Please respond with questions.

3/30/2005 10:34:39 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)

Ramble to JoeG.S. chat

Joe...you quit wasting your time. This page is for real important stuff like politics and all. I mean, don't you remember what happened to Howard Dean in Iowa. No? Well....this should help.


Anyway...it seems the less charisma, the more chance of winning the Dems Nomination. But then, they settle for brainless, friendless, Greenlandish (Princess Bride) tomato poppers.

On the flip side, Shrub is a smart guy. My wife says he grates on her because he talks down to people. She said she lives with a guy like that 24/7 and needs a break sometime.

Well? Would you rather a cocky infinitesimally mouth corner raising womanizing fibber like we had for eight years? She agreed that I had a point. I think I may have even gotten a kiss.

She loves me....she loves me not...she lov...oh wait...this flower only has one petal! A tip for all you people who are thinking of popping the proverbial.
3/17/2005 9:35:10 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)

StarbucksG.S. chat

Hey Rubs... Sorry we went all traitorous and all. Kris went to get some fancy coffee for me and accidently got coffee beans. So, we went and got a grinder ($12.99 for those who think I spend too much). Then, she went out and got a bag of Starbucks coffee beans (($100.00 for those who think I spend too little) always a diplomat).

Hey...if Caribou got smart and started selling there fancy beans at local grocery stores, maybe I would have bought them. But they missed the boat on that one. Kinda makes you think that's why they aren't as popular as the evil S empire.

Anyway, no clue why I'm so defensive. We'll be scheduling a time to come over in the very near future. Just be ready for NO sleep!
3/17/2005 9:25:00 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)

Need scannerG.S. chat

Hey...I can't put pix up on the message board w/o a scanner. Can someone email or fax me one? Thanks. Much obliged. If you fax it, I could get one of those really skinny ones that you can hardly know are there. Wait... maybe then, my girls would think it was a scale. Well.... then, you might see their cute little butts once or twice. Anyway... Hiya!
3/16/2005 2:54:26 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)