When life gets you royally ticked off!!!!Idiocy

I picked this category for obvious reasons. I was recently the victom of a crime that should have been very easy to avoid; but me being the excitable person that I am took it hook, line and sinker! The whole dang thing!

I was super excited about this great deal I was going to get on a motorcycle. I had gotten the loan from the bank for $2000 and I wasn't even going to have to use it... besides the $1000 I had already saved up. So I stupidly went along with everything and I lost $1700. The person took my money, and that was the last I heard from them. So I'm out all that money that I had saved up, plus the loan that I took out, and nothing to show for it.

I don't think I will ever live this one down. I get a horrible headache everytime I think about it. I actually cried about it, and that's a pretty rare occurance.

If you comment... I don't need anymore information about how stupid I was; thank you very much.

6/12/2006 7:51:29 PM by Heidi Sands | Comments (5)


I have an headache.
2/28/2006 11:54:52 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (1)

My trip to the grocery storeIdiocy

Ever since I was a kid, my favorite pasttime was grocery shopping. Especially when we went to Cub and filled up two carts, taking four hours to shop for two weeks worth. My favorite was the bags of cheese puffs that had the accidental chunks of cheese in them. Then there was the double bag of unsliced cracked wheat bread that you could only get at Rainbow Foods' McGlynn's bakery (which was founded in 1919, the same year that Smuckers Jelly Co. was). Mm...mm!!!!

Anyway...we went to Sioux Falls today to do some errands and ended up in HyVee, shopping for the next two weeks worth. As we were walking down the aisles, Kristine had a cart with the two girls and I had Frederic in mine. I was about ten feet back from Kris and saw an item that we needed about ten feet in front of her. So, I left Frederic and went to get it. He started to cry and I turned back just in time to see a young HyVee employee walk past my cart and look at my buddy boy. He then walked past me (keep in mind, by this time, I am about 20 feet from Fred and Kris is about 15) and I looked at the employee and with a serious face, said, "Do you have any idea whom that kid belongs to?" He looked shocked and started back for Frederic, saying that he thought Fred was mine. I confessed and we all had a good laugh.

Then, I took Naya into the men's bathroom to go potty. She walked into the stall and immediately recoiled because of the filthy toilet. At about that time, a young HyVee employee walked into the next stall. I said to Renaya, "That's what you get when you go potty in the men's room!" Out of the employee's stall came a guffaw that made Renaya jump off the bacterial seat of the brownish potty and wonder who that was. The kid next to us in the other stall caught himself somewhat gracefully and said, "Sorry...but that was real funny." Then, he made sure to finish and high-tail it outta there before we caught a glimpse of him again.

Next time, I think I'll terrorize the Wal-Mart.
2/14/2006 9:21:25 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (13)

My turnIdiocy

On the other hand, look what marriage does to you. Kristine and I looked as pretty and hunkish as you two did when we were your age. Now, with all the hard work and three squirts later, we have, well...matured.
1/30/2006 10:44:20 AM by Joseph Sands | Comments (8)


So far, seven essays of mine have received the highest marks in English 101. My prof loves me and I am getting short of apples. Any other ideas on how to coerce an A? Here is my latest writing...It is about my professor's critique of my last major essay.

Rush, Rush
I hear a sound in the night. It is the sound of my alarm – piercing through my bedroom air, telling me it is time to get up. I roll over to shut it off, thinking in my half asleep, half awake mind, that something is wrong. The alarm is malfunctioning and is definitely not supposed to go off at this hour. As the clouds clear from my brain, I kick myself and realize that life does move at a quick pace. It IS five in the morning.
So . . . I get out of bed, prepare breakfast, shower, shave, eat breakfast, make lunch, kiss my kids, smooch my wife, and run out the door. The cold blast of the Minnesota winter hits me in the face, causing me to run all that more quickly. I jump in my 1987 Honda Accord that is slowly recycling itself around the gas door. I stuff the key in the ignition and hear five clicks. I turn it again – same sound. As I begin to hear my hear race a bit faster, I peer over the steering wheel and see my flip lights up. That can only mean one thing. I left my lights on the previous night!
I jump out of the car and grab the jumper cables from my wife’s minivan. This always starts because she gets the nicer car. I run toward the door to grab the keys and somehow my feet leave the ground. I see my toes against the morning moon and then feel the cold ice hit the back of my head as I slam toward the ground. Quickly, I jump to my feet, frantically looking around to see if anyone had seen the acrobatics while at the same time, trying to act as if I had done that on purpose. I see the yellow eyes of the neighborhood cat peering at me with what I think is a curious gaze but then as he slinks away, he gives me a snort, as if to show his disgust.
Watching the cat’s breath float away on the bitter north wind snaps my mind back to attention. Into the house I go. I grab the keys, start the van, rush it down the drive, pop both hoods, connect the cables, start my car, slip on the ice, disconnect the cables, slip on the ice, throw the cables back into the van, back the van up, run to the house, slip on the ice, toss the keys on the floor and then turn around to head back to my car.
As long as my head is hurting and I am wide awake, I decide to slide down the icy driveway with gusto. Having this much fun in the morning is better than a hot cup of latte, which I can’t afford anyway.
Then, I drive the forty-five minutes to work, toil for ten hours at a job I love, drive home and wash the dishes, change a few diapers, and kiss my wife. As I am kissing my wife, I notice a few hairs that are out of place. I reach up to fix them and notice the clock on the wall. It is half-past-ten. And I am expected to write a perfect paper?
All jokes aside, I was very dissatisfied with my final draft. I went on vacation during the essay drafting process and had the opportunity to go over everything with my wife. Using some of her ideas, I hashed out a better draft than I had originally prepared. But, as I returned, it seemed as if everything was bit rushed.
That wasn’t the only problem. I received instruction in technical English composition in tenth grade. I did get an A+, but can’t remember any of the rules. I remember big words, like gerunds and participles but can’t tell you what they mean. I have ideas of where commas are supposed to go but can’t explain why. The remedial quizzes force me to use a thesaurus so as to understand them more fully.
To conclude, I will say that the feedback on this essay is opening my eyes to the reality that there actually is a science to sentence structure. Now I only hope that I can fit the learning process into my twenty-one hour schedule.

10/28/2005 8:14:37 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (4)

Joe... I thinkIdiocy

Well, Storybook came and went. It was relaxing and invigorating. Here is a representative picture that proves it...

Actually, Joe was showing off while i took pictures. It is not a candid shot :)
10/13/2005 7:40:38 PM by Ted Sands | Comments (10)

Too lateIdiocy

It's late here. About midnight of the 18th. I start work tomorrow (19th) at 8am. I am so excited. Can't sleep. It's storming outside. Lots of thunder and lightning. The rain is beating on the windows like prisoners in a starvation cell. It beats memories into my head as each drop make a sound of a pin against a freshly varnished wood floor. Memories of sitting on our front porch as a child, hoping, breathlessly that someday, we just might see a tornado. We never entertained the thought of what we might do if we actually saw one. So, being still alive and empty eyed, I have no more seen a tornado than a mouse eat a slice of cheese.

By the way... Check out Ted's videos at http://xtreme-enterprises.com/personal/ted/movies.html Wow! I wish I were he.
5/17/2005 11:59:36 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (3)


I understand now what a blessing a fatherhood role is. I was coming in for coffee one day on the job and my little gal, Renaya, bounded out of the house and shouted at me like I was the greatest hero on earth. Wow! What an awesome feeling to be loved completely by my daughter. I also went into the house and reaped a smile from ear to ear from Laura. The more I cherish my wife, the more she notices me too. That last one is a bit tough for me. She's so great, that I tend to take her for granted.

I'm festering. I'm going to quit on Saturday, May 14 and I don't want to work today. I can't handle the job, knowing that it's going to end. My feet plod one in front of the other making dead sounds on the white concrete earth, stained with the brown juice of so many country mouths, projecting their vile wads of tobacco earthward. I stare blankly through the pane of glass in the truck, covered by a thin, but irritating layer of smoke from all the years of chain smoking Schwan's men and never washed. I take orders, thank customers, and make the living that I need until the fateful day. And I thank God for the new life too!

Anyway...Thought I'd let you in on my most innerful thoughts. Whether they be innerful or most outer, I think they're valid and vindicatablative.
5/5/2005 5:00:20 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (2)

Joe's SalaryIdiocy

Can I get everybody's votes please? How many enjoy my husband's attitude and obsession lately with making a lot of money and passing his bros up in stature. Can you submit your answers so I can win the arguement and say "I told you so". :)
4/27/2005 11:29:54 AM by Kristine Sands | Comments (7)

More IdiocyIdiocy

So....A pontificate may pontificate his pontifications whether he be a pontiff or a pontificate, but never a pontificator for a pontiff or pontificate is the correct word for someone who pontificates said pontiff or pontificates pontifications.
4/9/2005 5:11:09 PM by Joseph Sands | Comments (0)